FEBRUARY 15 1993

The Supreme Council of elders on Planet Sex send a special envoy to Earth with instructions to destroy mankind using the power of rock and roll.

FEBRUARY 16 1993

Principal members of the envoy are distracted at the Ancient Briton Hotel Glebe and key elements of the mission are forgotten.

JUNE 22 1994

Nancy Vandal bassist JJ La Moore invents the forwards moonwalk

DECEMBER 6 1995

Nancy Vandal offer Guns N Roses the opening slot of their show at The Vulcan Hotel Ultimo but fail to receive a response. Presuming a clerical error has taken place, they hand slot to Crapulous Gee Gaw.

MARCH 11 1996

Nancy Vandal frontman Fox Trotsky is diagnosed with cloth of the ear and is told he will never hold a tune again. He battles on defying medical opinion with mixed results.

OCTOBER 30 1996

The T Man purchases worlds smallest van. Impressed, Nancy Vandal hire him as their minstrel. He is later upgraded trombonist then demoted back to keyboardist.

JULY 5 1997

Skinsman Tommy Lee Turnip attempts to sue truck stop restraunt for including beetroot in his hamburger with the lot. He is unsuccssesful.

AUGUST 16 1998

Nancy Vandal are terrorised by bikey maniac at Bathurst gig. Crisis is averted after Tommy Lee Turnip waves his cock at him - confusing him into retreat.

NOVEMBER 10 1999

Nancy Vandal play the Vans Warped tour and "draw" the lucrative 8:00 am slot 3 days running. Band goes without food so random bimbos can be looked after. Saxophonist Gilli Pepper abuses Michael Chugg over the microphone which is incredibly satisfying.

JANUARY 1 2000

Millenium bug destroys band mojo.

MARCH 2009

Nancy Vandal return from the wilderness.